Tuesday, April 30, 2013
Some months ago my computer failed. When it was restored, I got back most of my important files. But my admirable FreeCell statistics were reset to zero. So I know exactly how many games I've played since then. I used to share the computer and there was this pleasing element of doubt. But now I'm certain the games are all mine. Each game represents a few minutes out of my life. If I add them all up, I'm getting into days. For years, I've pondered the mystery of wasting time. Not why I might waste time when I was supposed to be working or doing something dreadful. But why I would fritter away my free time playing solitaire or watching reruns, when this same free time is an opportunity to do something I would love. It recently came to me that the explanation is probably dopamine and comfort. Apparently I crave that.
I'm going to go walk my dog now. He loves to walk. It makes him so happy he practically jumps out of his skin. He isn't able to play FreeCell, but he does chew on his paws a little compulsively sometimes.